New job, new season, new eczema

Every time I declare victory against the eczema on my hands, the Universe responds with a seasonal change (or perhaps I should just time my declarations of victory a little better) or a newly stressful situation that causes my stress to amp up. Currently I am working my way through the steep learning curve of a new position at work (anxiety, itching, not getting enough sleep or exercise) and my eczema has started attacking the usual places: my forearms and my ring finger. This means I can’t wear my wedding ring, which offends my husband and makers him feel vaguely nervous, and it also makes me look like I’m on the prowl. The platitudes of “don’t worry – this will clear up after you’ve fully recovered from pregnancy” which were said to me 4 years ago by doctors and other moms make me feel bitter; this is something I’ll never get rid of. Although my eczema is so much better than it was just after my son was born, I suppose it is too much to ask that it go away and leave me forever.

So again, I have had to pull out the steroid creams and take a look at my fingers which are mostly whole (except for my ring finger) but have become permanently swollen and wrinkled, making them look like they are 15 years older than the rest of my body. I sigh and remember the things I am thankful for: 3.5 years ago, I couldn’t go out in public. I could’t touch my baby’s face or grasp a doorknob without my skin cracking open. This new eczema is far better than my old eczema. So it may sound like a platitude if you are suffering from postpartum eczema, but really, don’t worry – it will get better…it just won’t go away.

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