Last year I resolved to not say anything stupid, rude, thoughtless or antisocial in public places any more because I am tired of the embarrassment and self-loathing that follows about 70% of my conversations (possibly more now, since I live with a non-verbal toddler and my social skills are receding along with my short term memory). I am as bad as the next person at keeping resolutions past the month of February, but this year I have decided to set only one much needed and completely attainable goal for myself: to use up all of the sample-sized cosmetics and mini-shampoos in my crowded and mildewy medicine cabinet.
I shall start with the half-finished little 2 oz .vial of Phyto-Aromatic Healing Water that I was given two years ago in a gift bag from a launch party that I couldn’t attend because I was on bed rest. After that I’ll work my way over to the little packet of BB Creme that came with my last Sephora purchase, and that tiny envelope of oil-free cleanser that I got from somewhere should be just enough for me to wash exactly 2 square inches of my face. I’ll hide Huzzybee’s Costco-sized container of Head & Shoulders and replace it with small shampoos purloined from all of the hotels that I used to live in when I was a meetings and events manager so many years ago (Bulgari from the Ritz, Fresh from the W, some kind of hipster soap from the Ace). With all of those free tubes of Crest from my dentist I think I can save my family a whopping $10 a year by not buying my preferred brand of toothpaste any more. Also, since I am now past the age of 30 (as a matter of fact, I am even past the age of 31) suddenly I am the recipient of countless serums: age-defying, anti-wrinkle, sun-spot reducing, fine-line smoothing serums, so after using all of them I may look younger at the end of 2014 than I do now.
Personal development just seems like an unattainable amount of effort this year, in fact, I couldn’t even muster the energy to drag all of those samples from the cabinet and take a photo of them for this post. I know, I’m a horrible person, but at least I’ll have glowing skin and more space in the medicine cabinet for actual medicine.