Fooling Mom

Tropical White Sangria
Tropical White Sangria

Today is mother’s day and already it’s confession time: I heard a tick when I was 25 years old, and a tock when I turned 28, and then at the mature age of 30, an alarm started going off.  The clock.  Today is mother’s day, and apparently The Spouse and I are attempting to induct me into motherhood.  At least, I think that is what all this canoodling has been about.

The last drink I had was a cheap beer that I didn’t really care for while sitting on my living room couch.  I knew it was my last, so I attempted to savor it, but it was warm.  Today, The Spouse and I mixed up two pitchers of sangria for mother’s day brunch and a decoy pitcher for me – color matched to perfection.  Fear of being offered a drink has turned me into something of a house hermit, so decoy sangria was a life saver.  Here is a recipe for a refreshing white tropical sangria, and for a decoy sangria, just in case , like me, any of you other Reluctant Matrons have something to hide.

Tropical White Sangria

Makes one pitcher or 6 to 8 cups

1 Magnum of cheap-ass white wine
1/4 cup of cheap-ass brandy
1 small lemon
2 small tangerines
1/2 cup pineapple-orange juice
2 tablespoons sugar

Wash the fruit well and slice into thin rounds.  Pour the wine, rum, fruit juice and sugar into a pitcher and stir until the sugar dissolves.  Add the fruit and chill for several hours.  Serve over ice, or with a spritz of club soda.  Drink copiously.

Decoy White Sangria

In a separate pitcher add together white grape juice, pineapple juice, the slices of lemon and tangerine.  Hold the sugar – after all…when you get preggo you’re going to look like a cake pop anyways, so why get started early?  Pour a small glass of real sangria next to a small glass of decoy sangria and make sure the colors match.  Conceal the pitcher somewhere in your fridge and attempt to fill your glass away from the alert eyes of your mother, and your father who have been asking you why on earth they still don’t have a grandchild.  Drink over ice and contemplate 9 more months of…fruit juice.


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